March 22, 2012

Build a Network of Support

To buoy you up in times of need, a network of support is essential! I have learned this the hard way more times than not.  The good news though is that we can keep increasing our circle of friends and help until we are covered on all sides and are better able to cope with the challenges that come our way.

Here is an example of one I recently created.  Let me know what you think. What categories would you add? What other sources of help/support are out there that you use? Share your ideas with me. I'd love to know what is working for you!
To further make it useful to me, under each heading I listed the ways that person/group has helped me in the past or is currently helping me. Then I also listed what further help I could receive from that group.


For example, under "Friends" I wrote: "Exercise Partners, Babysitting Help, Connect Socially" as the blessings I receive from friends now. Then I added "Fun" and "Emotional Support" as ones I want to add to further increase the benefits of my friendships.

In fact, recently when a challenge occurred in my personal life, I increased my support network by confiding in a trusted friend emotionally and receiving help and support from her--something I had never previously done.  (I usually keep emotional issues to myself...which I wouldn't recommend.) My burden was significantly lifted just by knowing someone else knew about my problem and cared.

Some of us have to be wary of the trap of co-dependency: relying on one person to meet all our needs for happiness and strength, especially if it is our spouses we are co-dependent on. If our spouses are the ones causing us pain, having no one else to turn to can leave us feeling hopeless, helpless, and abandoned, creating bigger problems for us like isolation and depression. 

My challenge to you is to make your own diagram of support, see where the holes are and where you can further seek assistance and help. Then go out and get it! The truth of the matter is that help is out there-we just have to be willing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, ask for it, and receive it.