While living on the East Coast, a good friend introduced me to the book "Sink Reflections" by Marla Cilley, aka The FlyLady. Marla is a recovered clutter-aholic who developed her own personal system/tools/ideas to dig herself out of chaos & misery and create order & peace in her life and home. I have been re-reading her book for fun and thought I'd share her 11 Commandments.
Fly Lady’s 11 Commandments
1 Keep your sink clean and shiny!
2 Get dressed every morning, even if you don’t feel like it. Don’t forget your lace-up shoes.
3 Do your morning and before bedtime routine everyday.
4 Don’t allow yourself to be sidetracked by the computer.
5 Pick up after yourself. If you get it out, put it away.
6 Don’t try to do two projects at once. ONE JOB AT A TIME.
7 Don’t pull out more than you can put back in one hour.
8 Do something for yourself everyday, maybe every morning and night.
9 Work as fast as you can to get the job done. This will give you more time to play later.
10 Smile even when you don’t feel like it. It is contagious. Make your mind up to be happy and you will be.
11 Don’t forget to laugh everyday. Pamper yourself, you deserve it.
**For a WAY CUTER version of this, click on HappyHomeHabits! You'll also see an ad for a Home Routines i-phone app. Haven't tried it but it looks good.**
AND if you are feeling especially disorganized and overwhelmed, check out the FlyLady's book. Each time I browse through it, I get immediate support via an idea, thought, encouragement, etc. She also has a blog if you want to check it out at http://www.flylady.net/.
July 23, 2012
July 14, 2012
The Gospel Path is LESS Rocky
Now that we've decided to stay in Flagstaff, I've taken up mountain biking again. This morning I went out alone on some trails near our home. A few gnats in the eyes/mouth later, I realized if not my eyes, I could at least keep my mouth shut. :)
I started on some shorter trail loops then jumped onto the Walnut Meadow Loop, an almost 4 mile ride. It is beautiful country in Flag but rocky. Near the beginning, I hit some clumps of rocks in the middle of the trail that caused me to swerve a little, so I jumped off the trail momentarily to avoid more rocks and instead hit some bigger ones. I jumped back on the path as fast as I could, realizing my mistake. In my naïveté, I had figured avoiding any rocks was the goal until I saw how uneven and more potentially dangerous the outskirts were.
This got me thinking that sometimes when we live the gospel, we think the path should be straight, narrow, and paved! But that's not the point of the gospel path. It is safer, but there will still be bumps and bruises along the way. The point is that the path will always be safer than the off-road alternative.
As I continued on the loop, I started to worry I wasn't on the right trail anymore. I had gone for a long time without seeing a tall, brown trail marker, and after constant twists and turns in the path, I didn't even know what direction I was heading anymore. I was tempted to stop and backtrack.
But I resisted the urge, committing to finishing the trail I had started. I had stayed on the main trail the whole time I assured myself. Eventually, it would bring me back to the beginning I reasoned. After some time passed, I did finally pass a trail marker and finished the loop. Whoo-hoo!
In life, we each receive confirmations--like the trail markers--that we are indeed heading the right direction or on the right path for us. But sometimes when it's been a while since we've received a witness/answer and the road begins to twist and turn in unfamiliar/unplanned ways, we are tempted to say: "This is not the path I meant to choose" or "This can't be the right way anymore," and we lose faith and want to abandon it.
Just hang in there though and know that if you knew it was right before, it still is right, even if Heavenly Father is presently silent. Eventually, you'll come to the end and be grateful you didn't quit.
I started on some shorter trail loops then jumped onto the Walnut Meadow Loop, an almost 4 mile ride. It is beautiful country in Flag but rocky. Near the beginning, I hit some clumps of rocks in the middle of the trail that caused me to swerve a little, so I jumped off the trail momentarily to avoid more rocks and instead hit some bigger ones. I jumped back on the path as fast as I could, realizing my mistake. In my naïveté, I had figured avoiding any rocks was the goal until I saw how uneven and more potentially dangerous the outskirts were.
This got me thinking that sometimes when we live the gospel, we think the path should be straight, narrow, and paved! But that's not the point of the gospel path. It is safer, but there will still be bumps and bruises along the way. The point is that the path will always be safer than the off-road alternative.
As I continued on the loop, I started to worry I wasn't on the right trail anymore. I had gone for a long time without seeing a tall, brown trail marker, and after constant twists and turns in the path, I didn't even know what direction I was heading anymore. I was tempted to stop and backtrack.
But I resisted the urge, committing to finishing the trail I had started. I had stayed on the main trail the whole time I assured myself. Eventually, it would bring me back to the beginning I reasoned. After some time passed, I did finally pass a trail marker and finished the loop. Whoo-hoo!
In life, we each receive confirmations--like the trail markers--that we are indeed heading the right direction or on the right path for us. But sometimes when it's been a while since we've received a witness/answer and the road begins to twist and turn in unfamiliar/unplanned ways, we are tempted to say: "This is not the path I meant to choose" or "This can't be the right way anymore," and we lose faith and want to abandon it.
Just hang in there though and know that if you knew it was right before, it still is right, even if Heavenly Father is presently silent. Eventually, you'll come to the end and be grateful you didn't quit.
July 13, 2012
Green Drink!
My brother is a naturopathic doctor in the Valley and sends out a monthly newsletter to clients/friends/family. I subscribe and always glean something helpful from it each time. This month, he wrote about training for a triathalon in September and becoming re-energized through Green Drinks. He includes he and his wife's personal recipe, which he says has transformed their excercise.
I'm excited to try it and hope it helps you too!
http://www.eastvalleynd.com/blog/journey-of-a-tri-athlete/?utm_source=July+Newsletter&utm_campaign=July+Newsletter+2012&utm_medium=email
I'm excited to try it and hope it helps you too!
http://www.eastvalleynd.com/blog/journey-of-a-tri-athlete/?utm_source=July+Newsletter&utm_campaign=July+Newsletter+2012&utm_medium=email
July 12, 2012
Archery & Self-Respect
My son and I signed up for archery lessons together this summer, and when he wasn't able to go to lessons today, I unconsciously decided not to go either since signing up had mostly been for him.
I instead started doing a bunch of chores, then went to rock my toddler to sleep for a nap. It was then, unshowered and already tired, I realized what I had done: I had made myself an appendage of my son, instead of treating myself like an individual.
The thing is...I actually really like archery and I'm not too bad at it either. After the first lesson, I had called my hubby and told him excitedly how much fun I had had. He told me he later he noticed I was happier that day than usual and said I should try to do something every day I enjoy.
After his observation, I noticed too I felt differently after each lesson: I was more positive, excited, enthusiastic about life...
As I reflected on all this, I decided I needed to respect myself the way I respected my son-enough to get him to lessons! So I threw on makeup, jumped in the Tahoe, and raced to Fort Tuthill in time to practice shooting 3D targets (animals). I "killed" a badger my first time around. It was a good feeling ;)
I'm glad I went too because I found out next week we get to go on the 3D course the club uses. Duncan's excited too. Either way, son or not, I won't miss it. I just have to keep reminding myself every day that I matter too.
April 05, 2012
Seek Help
I recently read on a favorite website (www.helpguide.org) that different forms of abuse can cause depression/anxiety (see Psychological Warning Signs bottom of article). I realized that sometimes we don't even recognize or fully understand the source of our depression. Another article asserted that several medical issues like an under/overactive thyroid or anemia can cause symptoms that mimic depression. The article suggested starting with a visit to your general doctor to rule out any of these causes first.
If you have already done tests to rule out a medical condition and are not sure what to do next, the following article Understanding Depression can help by educating on the different types of depression, causes of, and potential paths to healing. Seeking help from a professional might be an answer.
No one is going to care more about you than YOU! Make an appointment with your doctor if you need to; find out what options are available for you to help you recover. Depression can make everything feel overwhelming, so start small by doing just one thing a day to get you on a path to healing.
If you have already done tests to rule out a medical condition and are not sure what to do next, the following article Understanding Depression can help by educating on the different types of depression, causes of, and potential paths to healing. Seeking help from a professional might be an answer.
No one is going to care more about you than YOU! Make an appointment with your doctor if you need to; find out what options are available for you to help you recover. Depression can make everything feel overwhelming, so start small by doing just one thing a day to get you on a path to healing.
March 22, 2012
Build a Network of Support
To buoy you up in times of need, a network of support is essential! I have learned this the hard way more times than not. The good news though is that we can keep increasing our circle of friends and help until we are covered on all sides and are better able to cope with the challenges that come our way.
Here is an example of one I recently created. Let me know what you think. What categories would you add? What other sources of help/support are out there that you use? Share your ideas with me. I'd love to know what is working for you!
To further make it useful to me, under each heading I listed the ways that person/group has helped me in the past or is currently helping me. Then I also listed what further help I could receive from that group.
For example, under "Friends" I wrote: "Exercise Partners, Babysitting Help, Connect Socially" as the blessings I receive from friends now. Then I added "Fun" and "Emotional Support" as ones I want to add to further increase the benefits of my friendships.
In fact, recently when a challenge occurred in my personal life, I increased my support network by confiding in a trusted friend emotionally and receiving help and support from her--something I had never previously done. (I usually keep emotional issues to myself...which I wouldn't recommend.) My burden was significantly lifted just by knowing someone else knew about my problem and cared.
Some of us have to be wary of the trap of co-dependency: relying on one person to meet all our needs for happiness and strength, especially if it is our spouses we are co-dependent on. If our spouses are the ones causing us pain, having no one else to turn to can leave us feeling hopeless, helpless, and abandoned, creating bigger problems for us like isolation and depression.
My challenge to you is to make your own diagram of support, see where the holes are and where you can further seek assistance and help. Then go out and get it! The truth of the matter is that help is out there-we just have to be willing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, ask for it, and receive it.
Here is an example of one I recently created. Let me know what you think. What categories would you add? What other sources of help/support are out there that you use? Share your ideas with me. I'd love to know what is working for you!
For example, under "Friends" I wrote: "Exercise Partners, Babysitting Help, Connect Socially" as the blessings I receive from friends now. Then I added "Fun" and "Emotional Support" as ones I want to add to further increase the benefits of my friendships.
In fact, recently when a challenge occurred in my personal life, I increased my support network by confiding in a trusted friend emotionally and receiving help and support from her--something I had never previously done. (I usually keep emotional issues to myself...which I wouldn't recommend.) My burden was significantly lifted just by knowing someone else knew about my problem and cared.
Some of us have to be wary of the trap of co-dependency: relying on one person to meet all our needs for happiness and strength, especially if it is our spouses we are co-dependent on. If our spouses are the ones causing us pain, having no one else to turn to can leave us feeling hopeless, helpless, and abandoned, creating bigger problems for us like isolation and depression.
My challenge to you is to make your own diagram of support, see where the holes are and where you can further seek assistance and help. Then go out and get it! The truth of the matter is that help is out there-we just have to be willing to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, ask for it, and receive it.
February 19, 2012
Do Hard Things Even When You Don't Feel Like It
I was recently talking to a friend and fellow writer who gave me the following great advice about writing (which happens to also apply to life, especially if you're feeling depressed): "You have to make yourself do hard things even if you don't feel like it." She was talking about her commitment to write every day, even when she didn't feel like it, and how she has already become such a better writer because of it.
As I thought on this, I realized that last week I really struggled because I didn't do the hard things I normally do to be brain healthy: get up early and exercise, drink enough water, eat healthy snacks/meals each day, pray morning and night, take breaks and do things I enjoy, go to bed on time, etc. No wonder I felt lousy!
So last night, after hearing Dr. Hibbert's great advice, when I was tempted to stay up late looking up celebrity haircut ideas online, I did the hard thing and made myself go to bed...and you know what, I actually was nice to my husband when I woke up, which is worth more than a celebrity haircut anyday!
As I thought on this, I realized that last week I really struggled because I didn't do the hard things I normally do to be brain healthy: get up early and exercise, drink enough water, eat healthy snacks/meals each day, pray morning and night, take breaks and do things I enjoy, go to bed on time, etc. No wonder I felt lousy!
So last night, after hearing Dr. Hibbert's great advice, when I was tempted to stay up late looking up celebrity haircut ideas online, I did the hard thing and made myself go to bed...and you know what, I actually was nice to my husband when I woke up, which is worth more than a celebrity haircut anyday!
January 20, 2012
It Is Better To Look Up
This is an amazing talk I listened to today that helped me realize answers to our problems come by looking to God and the Savior. I tend to look outward for help, and this reminded me I need to start by looking up.
January 04, 2012
It Will Be Whatever You Choose
A friend recently sent me a link to another mom's blog who had posted the following instagram quote: "It will be whatever you choose." (check it out here)
I had just finished some chores and was feeling worn out when I read this. I began to compare myself to what I considered more successful moms than myself, which made me feel even lower. I thought to myself, "I feel depressed."
But then the above quote came to my mind. I realized I had a choice in how I felt, and I thought, "No, I choose to feel happy." When I said this, I thought of what I had accomplished today instead of what I hadn't. I also thought that I should focus on my own growth and improvement instead of on others' accomplishments. Those choices left me feeling happier and free to enjoy my day instead of being depressed about it!
I had just finished some chores and was feeling worn out when I read this. I began to compare myself to what I considered more successful moms than myself, which made me feel even lower. I thought to myself, "I feel depressed."
But then the above quote came to my mind. I realized I had a choice in how I felt, and I thought, "No, I choose to feel happy." When I said this, I thought of what I had accomplished today instead of what I hadn't. I also thought that I should focus on my own growth and improvement instead of on others' accomplishments. Those choices left me feeling happier and free to enjoy my day instead of being depressed about it!
January 03, 2012
Don't Blame
A couple years ago when I was working on lowering my stress levels to help treat my depression, I found a list of 12 ideas for reducing stress in your life in a medical book by the American Medical Association. Today I share one of those ideas: "Don't Blame: It keeps you from making constructive changes."
I recently applied this when I woke up crabby one morning from not getting enough sleep. I immediately blamed my husband who I had stayed up late with talking. Later that morning, I thought about how I shouldn't blame him, but instead focus on making a constructive change.
I came up with an idea that I put into use the next night: I wear earplugs to bed to help me sleep through the night (they block out snoring, house noises, dogs barking, cars, etc.); I decided that when I came to upstairs to get ready for bed, I would tell him goodnight and then put my earplugs in while I got ready for bed and read my scriptures.
It actually helped! He knew I couldn't hear him, so he didn't start any conversations with me, and it helped me to not start talking to him and to remember my bigger goal of getting enough sleep so I can be brain healthy.
Next time something goes wrong and you're tempted to blame, think instead about a change YOU can make to alter the situation for your benefit!
I recently applied this when I woke up crabby one morning from not getting enough sleep. I immediately blamed my husband who I had stayed up late with talking. Later that morning, I thought about how I shouldn't blame him, but instead focus on making a constructive change.
I came up with an idea that I put into use the next night: I wear earplugs to bed to help me sleep through the night (they block out snoring, house noises, dogs barking, cars, etc.); I decided that when I came to upstairs to get ready for bed, I would tell him goodnight and then put my earplugs in while I got ready for bed and read my scriptures.
It actually helped! He knew I couldn't hear him, so he didn't start any conversations with me, and it helped me to not start talking to him and to remember my bigger goal of getting enough sleep so I can be brain healthy.
Next time something goes wrong and you're tempted to blame, think instead about a change YOU can make to alter the situation for your benefit!
January 02, 2012
Have a Daily Goal/Purpose
I recently read a lesson on "Experiencing Joy Now." It included a list of reasons why people experience unhappiness and one that caught my eye was: Lack of goals or purpose.
I know that for me if I have a plan for the day of things I need to do and want to accomplish, it's easier for me to get up and get going. If not, then if I am feeling depressed already, I can stay in bed all morning, never shower, and feel grumpy and crappy all day.
*Before you go to bed tonight, think about a goal or activity you'd like to pursue and something you can do tomorrow to work toward that goal OR a purpose for the day, something you'd like to get done or achieve.*
Hobbies, talents, exercise, good old-fashioned work, and service are all great mood lifters and positive distractions that help lift depressive moods. You might not feel like doing anything but DO IT ANYWAY and you will feel better!
I know that for me if I have a plan for the day of things I need to do and want to accomplish, it's easier for me to get up and get going. If not, then if I am feeling depressed already, I can stay in bed all morning, never shower, and feel grumpy and crappy all day.
*Before you go to bed tonight, think about a goal or activity you'd like to pursue and something you can do tomorrow to work toward that goal OR a purpose for the day, something you'd like to get done or achieve.*
Hobbies, talents, exercise, good old-fashioned work, and service are all great mood lifters and positive distractions that help lift depressive moods. You might not feel like doing anything but DO IT ANYWAY and you will feel better!
January 01, 2012
Happy New Year!
Today's tip comes from Pres. Monson's message in the January Ensign titled "Living the Abundant Life." He challenges each of us at the beginning of this new year to "undertake a personal, diligent, significant quest for...the abundant life-a life filled with an abundance of success, goodness, and blessings." Who doesn't want that?!
So what can we do to achieve this? He has 3 tools, his "ABC"s he calls them:
1. Have a Positive Attitude: "The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives."
William James, renowned American psychologist and philosopher
Pres. Monson says, "To do the best we can and then to choose to be happy about our circumstances, whatever they may be, can bring peace and contentment."
2. Believe in Yourself: "Don't limit yourself and don't let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities. You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith." Monson
3. Face Challenges With Courage: "Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide on, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Pres. Monson adds, "Courage is required to make an initial thrust toward one's coveted goal, but even greater courage is called for when one stumbles and must make a second effort to achieve...Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try again tomorrow."
Here's to "trying again tomorrow" as each of us strives to improve and better manage our lives and emotional and mental health! May this year be better than the last!
So what can we do to achieve this? He has 3 tools, his "ABC"s he calls them:
1. Have a Positive Attitude: "The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives."
William James, renowned American psychologist and philosopher
Pres. Monson says, "To do the best we can and then to choose to be happy about our circumstances, whatever they may be, can bring peace and contentment."
2. Believe in Yourself: "Don't limit yourself and don't let others convince you that you are limited in what you can do. Believe in yourself and then live so as to reach your possibilities. You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith." Monson
3. Face Challenges With Courage: "Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide on, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs." Ralph Waldo Emerson
Pres. Monson adds, "Courage is required to make an initial thrust toward one's coveted goal, but even greater courage is called for when one stumbles and must make a second effort to achieve...Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, "I'll try again tomorrow."
Here's to "trying again tomorrow" as each of us strives to improve and better manage our lives and emotional and mental health! May this year be better than the last!
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